suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
