remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
