i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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