Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
