i think i scared a bird with my dick
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
