let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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