There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
