Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
