I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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