ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you didnt know i had herpes?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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