I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
