so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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