if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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