We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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