I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
