you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
