I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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