I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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