FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
