Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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