Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
