mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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