Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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