she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
