she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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