You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
