I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
