That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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