if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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