"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
