i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
How's work?
Spinning.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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