porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
