butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
