ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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