Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
