i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
