Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
