They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
