Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
