The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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