i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
