If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
