Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
P.S. I can't hear my feet
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
