I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
This house was built for laser tag.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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