i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
