Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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