Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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