super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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