could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
