Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
