Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
