Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
