Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
