so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
